I was going to write some sappy dreck about how Bar­ton, with the weight of the world on his shoul­ders, found he could glitch physics and appear any­where in the world, appar­ently along with his chair.

It’s rub­bish, of course. What really hap­pened is that Bar­ton dragged the damn chair up the moun­tain and placed it there because he was bored of the view on the ground. Of course, once he made it, he real­ized that it was a worth­less pur­suit. He was the first moun­taineer to cart a recliner up to the top of a peak, but the dis­tinc­tion meant lit­tle more than a pass­ing men­tion in the records books and some raised eyebrows.

Bar­ton real­ized, sud­denly and with a lit­tle anguish: play­ing Monop­oly was more fun than being a record-breaking moun­taineer. He sat in his chair awhile, wish­ing he had also thought to carry up a few cases of beer.