There’s the every­day hypo­thet­i­cal bat­tles, then there is the Cabaret Emcee vs. The Joker. Hon­estly, I’d vote for the emcee. Why? Have you ever seen Cabaret? Even 10 sec­onds of it? The guy must be undi­luted evil. The Joker is just a really hard-boiled psychopath.

Com­ing up with uncon­ven­tional bat­tle match-ups is more inter­est­ing than the clas­sic Bat­man vs. Super­man. Try some­thing like Han Solo vs. Mr. T, or Star Trek’s Q vs. Dum­b­le­dore. Or what about Eddie Mur­phy vs. Eddie Mur­phy vs. Eddie Murphy?

By the way, Bat­man would win if he gets advanced warn­ing of the match-up, and Super­man would win in all other cir­cum­stances. And the Green Lantern would win no mat­ter what because I said so.