What could be a sad­der state for Mrs. But­ter­worth than a plate with­out the pan­cake? That’s the ques­tion I went to seek out when I inter­viewed the won­der­ful Mrs. But­ter­worth about life as a break­fast syrup bottle.

pNoted: Mrs. But­ter­worth, how did you come to be asso­ci­ated with rich, but­tery imi­ta­tion maple syrup?

But­ter­worth: Oh, dear child. I have always been a part of a nutri­tious break­fast. Ever since the cre­ation of the flap­jack from America’s bread­bas­ket, I’ve been there.

pNoted: That’s great. What would hap­pen if there was just you to hold the fort down, no pan­cakes, or waf­fles or cold glass of orange juice? Just you, and an empty plate?

But­ter­worth: Heaven for­bid! If you’re out of flour you can always bor­row some. That’s good old Amer­i­can neigh­bor­li­ness, and don’t you for­get it!

pNoted: But say you really couldn’t get flour and all you had was some maple syrup? On a plate? How would you feel?

But­ter­worth: Every time some­one eats syrup with­out a break­fast pas­try a fairy dies, and that’s a fact.

pNoted: Really?

But­ter­worth: Maybe, maybe not, boy. But you have to ask your­self, do you want to risk it?

pNoted: I…

But­ter­worth: I thought so. Don’t get your­self in sticky messes just because you have the syrup, that’s what I’ve always said, and I’ll keep on sayin’ it.