The iPhone 4 con­tro­versy about whether or not Apple should recall all 15 quadrillion phones on their dime and replace them with… some­thing… IS TOTALLY STUPID, not to men­tion waste­ful. I mean hon­estly. What is Apple going to replace your phone with, the pre­vi­ous gen­er­a­tion phone? I doubt they have the iPhone 5 ready just yet, peo­ple. Just take your reception-improving bumper cases and shut up. You’re already will­ing to be on AT&T, which is a recep­tion hand­i­cap to begin with.

What Apple should do is release a free app that tells you when you’re hold­ing the phone in the reception-killing “death­grip.” When­ever you squeeze the mofo out of your gad­get it screams “AUGH! IT BURNS!!!!!”