Ghosts are in the strange and unten­able posi­tion between reli­gion and noth­ing­ness. I actu­ally believe that if ghosts could exist they would. There are all sorts of peo­ple who have died in some dra­matic fash­ion and still have unfin­ished busi­ness. The thing is, if reli­gion exists we either have some place assigned to us, or state to be absorbed into (spir­i­tual con­scious­ness). If reli­gion is a strictly liv­ing con­struct to make our­selves feel bet­ter then we dis­perse into obliv­ion like so many fin­ger­nail clippings.

So ghosts don’t exist. They can’t. There’s no sys­tem by which they could exist. “Oh! But wait!” you tell me. By this logic, you could mod­ify or invent a reli­gion that has a mech­a­nism by which ghosts could form. Damn you and your logic. Now ghosts can exist. The prob­lem is that isn’t how the world works. Some­thing doesn’t exist just because you wrote a good story about it. I once mused that if you willed it enough you could jump a hun­dred miles in a sin­gle bound and not even get scuffed up upon land­ing. And then I jumped. I was really dis­ap­pointed. I willed the hell out of that jump. There is no way I could be more will­ing than that. I man­aged a yard.

But if Ghosts DID exist, against logic, they would still end up logic-ing them­selves out of exis­tence  when they real­ize that they are impos­si­ble. A bible would shock them into the beyond, and so would a ham­burger. Why a ham­burger? They would look around and not see the cow ghost. The cow died sud­denly. It had unfin­ished busi­ness (eat­ing). WHERE IS THE COW GHOST?? Poof! Bye-Bye Ghost!