Remem­ber wrap­arounds? You still see them upon the faces of dudes in their late thir­ties who also wear caps and jack­ets branded with their favorite col­lege foot­ball team. It’s not good. These are the same glasses that give one’s mid-face region a “chrome bumper” effect. They make me want to tack on bumper stick­ers like “My Other Face is Out for Repairs”.

Is it a class thing? Maybe, but I’m start­ing to think that “class” is an imag­i­nary, self-fulfilling dis­tinc­tion that only really works for the very poor, the seg­re­gated or the very rich. Every­one in between just likes to apply the con­cept of class for aca­d­e­mic rea­sons, self-esteem rea­sons, or for an excuse to com­plain about their cur­rent posi­tion in life. Is the solar-radiation brain-shield a vis­i­ble expres­sion of that class angst? It might be if the logic goes like this: “I don’t go ski­ing but if I did I’m three-quarters of the way to ski goggles!”

I’m sorry if you own a pair of wrap-arounds and you’re get­ting all agi­tated by my jabs. I owned a pair once when I was 12. I thought they were pretty snazz. They turn the Bling Town upside down.

Poor Bling Town.