Mr. Fer­ris was almost cer­tainly com­pen­sat­ing for some­thing when he cre­ated his Wheel. I don’t blame him for any of that. I actu­ally don’t have any­thing at all against the man. But I do have some hat­ing to go around, and I sup­pose I have it out for the fes­ti­val amuse­ment ride peo­ple. What is it with all of the teeny lit­tle Fer­ris wheels in so many fairs? Maybe they’re hard to cart around, I get it.  But what the hell! They’re so damn lit­tle, so what’s the point of even set­ting them up?! Is this because I live in Ore­gon? Does every­one else get the giant ones? I grew up in Michi­gan and when I was a kid I thought they only came in the size “extra humungo-bigness.” All I know is that I get a bet­ter ride on the Smart Park glass ele­va­tors in Port­land and those are FREE.