I once read about a chef who was fairly expe­ri­enced in the way of world cui­sine and an inter­viewer asked him what the weird­est thing he ever ate was. He thought about it for awhile and said “Peanut but­ter.” His rea­son­ing was this: peanut but­ter is the weird­est food there is because it looks like crap and has a fairly dis­con­cert­ing tex­ture. I am fairly cer­tain that if peanut but­ter is the weird­est food he has ever eaten then he has not had the plea­sure of swal­low­ing a Marsh­mal­low Peep.

Still. If you put a cou­ple table­spoons of decent peanut but­ter in your mouth, you’re going to sound like a moron for a cou­ple min­utes as your mouth des­per­ately attempts to clean itself of the water-insoluble, clingy goop. I would imag­ine that if you went to the phar­macy to find some­thing to help accel­er­ate the process, you might get a tub of lard and the instruc­tions to eat 10ml of lard and wait until the peanut but­ter has been dis­solved. I don’t know if this would really work. But it would make a good story for the phar­ma­cist at dinner.