The year is 6029. The human species has aban­doned Earth in a mass exo­dus on huge metal arks off to live among the stars.

Aliens have heard our SETI calls from 4000 years ear­lier and have finally made it for a visit. They are vaguely dis­ap­pointed by the dis­ap­pear­ance of the tech­no­log­i­cal race that sent them broad­casts of Home Improve­ment,  but they have a pretty good time of rum­mag­ing through our ancient stuff.

If they didn’t have ears or hands to speak of, so many of our things would be dif­fi­cult to fig­ure out. The iPod is just one. Think about Super Soak­ers. Those gotta be stumpers.