When­ever I walk by a par­tic­u­larly weird look­ing bush, or see a curi­ous look­ing berry, I have a momen­tary urge to eat it. I am the piranha and the bush is the cow. It’s not that I want to get poi­soned. I know that Yew berries are poi­so­nous. Ditto for Deadly Night­shade. The thing is, they look deli­cious. And what­ever I can’t have I want. I fig­ure there must be some kind of mass con­spir­acy, that Yew isn’t really poi­so­nous. If I eat it, maybe I’ll get every­thing I’ve ever wanted.

Like what?” You say. I had no idea you were so inter­ested! Well, let’s see. Super strength, unerr­ing con­fi­dence, ten­dency towards activ­ity that will only make me wealthy. I guess it would turn me into Schwarzeneg­ger. But unfor­tu­nately, as he might say regard­ing my magic leaves… “ITS NOTTA PO-SHUN!”