Actu­ally that’s a lie. Ani­mals talk. They are very talk­a­tive. I con­verse with them often. Par­tic­u­larly dogs, which can’t keep their mouths shut. I had a con­ver­sa­tion with a doo­dle (half poo­dle half dog) ear­lier today. It said “Yo!”

Hi,” I replied. “Wow, now don’t you have curly hair!” I reached out a hand.

Yeah. Hey, don’t pet me.”

I wasn’t going to pet you, you lit­tle jerk factory.”

Oh yeah, well I wouldn’t want to be pet by some­one as ugly as you,” The doo­dle said wrin­kling up its muzzle.

Well, at least I’m not a dog,” I insen­si­tively pointed out.

What­ever. Would you like fries with your Blizzard?”