If you’re a good per­son, when you die you will pre­sum­ably go to heaven, accord­ing to the Chris­t­ian faith. If you’re bad, you take a trek “down­wards” to hell. It’s pretty straight for­ward. Some have made it more com­pli­cated by adding a wait­ing room before heaven called “Pur­ga­tory.” It is essen­tially a bathing house for the slightly unclean. When they are suf­fi­ciently rose-scented they can con­tinue on heav­en­wards. Pur­ga­tory isn’t really a des­ti­na­tion, it’s just a “must-see” road­side attraction.

What if there is a third final des­ti­na­tion, how­ever? What if you go through life not too bad but not too good, exactly 50% in all cat­e­gories. Too sin­ful for heaven, still too dirty for pur­ga­tory but too holy for hell? What’s a soul to do? Walk to the Gates of Gor­don. We don’t know who Gor­don is, but we assume that he is one mod­er­ate dude, and he’s the patron saint of swing voters.