The most irri­tat­ing thing about TV is the fact that if it isn’t scripted it has a sculpted sense of drama that is hard to find in real life and if it is scripted every­one sounds way fun­nier than you (except on CSI. CSI is like watch­ing a late night PBS ver­sion of Bones). Cer­tainly if you have kids they are nei­ther going to be be as messed up as kids on TV (see Weeds) or as bril­liantly sedated (see Arrested Devel­op­ment). They are going to be some weird ver­sion of you. Unless of course they’re not genet­i­cally yours. Adopted or con­trac­tu­ally won chil­dren (a la Rumpel­stilt­skin) are a mixed bag. Never can tell what those dudes will be like.