Writ­ing a check to your­self for 20 tril­lion dol­lars doesn’t work, if you really wanted to know. If you took it to the bank they would prob­a­bly laugh at you and then ring the lit­tle alarm until the men with the shiny guns come.

But wouldn’t it be cool? You could say to the teller, “GODDAMN YOU, ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR? CHECK THE BALANCE!” And they would look and say: “You have $238 in checking…aaand $1200 in savings.”

And then you would get all freaked out. “Are you say­ing I bounced a check to myself? Why would I do that?” and then you SUE your­self. You sue your­self until you are rich. That’s the Amer­i­can way.