So we’ve all heard the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. She breaks into their house when they’re away. She of course destroys the house trying to be as comfortable as possible. She never uses her brain once. The shocking part is that when the bears discover her presence, they do not eat her and make her into pies. They scare her, and then, according to some variants on the tale, Goldilocks actually becomes a respectful girl who plays well with bear cubs.
WHAT!? C’mon. She walks into a bear’s den. This girl had no sense to begin with. Her birth certificate was signed and certified by the Darwin Awards. Even if she met a modern day athlete with the world’s greatest fitness and work ethic, none of it would rub off. Hence this comic.